This is how the KTM Komuter works. There are 3 types of train design & each train's door opens at different places. To make us, commuters line up before we board, they came up with 3 coloured lines. The Green, Blue & Red. We will only know which line to queue when they announce about 5 minutes before the train arrives. Malaysians being Malaysian, we would want to queue at the line even before they announce. Therefore, I would always stand at the line that has ALL 3 colours! So when they announce whichever colour to queue, I'll still be the first in line.
Here's the 3 coloured lines at the train station. You can imagine where I would be standing every evening.
However, the result of the choice we make in this situation can't be controlled by us. It is controlled by luck. There are many decisions in life that we can control.
For example: When you wake up in the morning, you can choose:
a) to wake up in a grumpy mood
b) to wake up and tell your boss that you are sick but you the truth is that you are lazy
c) to wake up in a CHEERFUL mood
Our emotions is something that we can control. I always believe that I should make sure that I'm in a cheerful mood when I wake up even if I'm still sleepy/tired. My only opinion is if you want to choose option (a), please just go back to sleep! You are just going to start your day on a miserable note and you'll have more negative feelings than positive.
I had an interesting 2 hours ordeal at the clinic yesterday. It was quite a worrying ordeal because the Dr briefly mentioned "Cancer". However, he was nice enough to just tell me to wait for my report in 2 weeks.
The first person that I informed was of course my husband then my colleague because she may be wondering why I'm taking so long at the clinic. After visiting the clinic, I know I can control how I feel about it.
(a) CRY MY HEART OUT!
(b) Keep cool & just take the Dr's advice to just wait for the report
(c) Keep thinking about it & i'll be distracted by it for the rest of the day
I chose option (b). I know that I'm allowed to cry but like the Dr said, "Don't worry. Let's just wait & see."
The reason why I chose option (b) was because I know if I chose one of the other two options, it will effect my colleagues. So I calmly went back and told my colleague of my 2 hour ordeal. We went for lunch, came back to the office & everything was normal & healthy.
I also had an interesting ordeal with my colleague regarding work. I snapped at her because my emotion took over me. At that point, I also had 3 options to choose from:
(a) stay angry at her & don't talk to her til tomorrow
(b) cool down & pretend that nothing has happened
(c) coold down & apologize
I chose option (c) and I'm very glad that I made that choice as we are now better colleagues than an hour before the ordeal. :)
Not all choices that we make will turn out to be good or turn out to what we have expected it to be. That's why we should make any decision with a clear mind, not controlled by emotion. And when we make that decision, we must not regret whatever outcome it will be. Accept it as a mistake. It is a very cliche thing to say this but I'm going to say it anyway..
"If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off & try again!"
It's my preferred choice to wake up in a cheerful mood everyday but some how someone or something would try to bring my mood down. However, I realize that I pick myself up very quickly after that. I believe that if I start my day on a good note, it will end on a good note because my days would always end with a prayer. Anything in between is just the "evil" trying to make you fall to the "darker side". :)
There are some decisions in life that is very tough to make.
I was having a tough time trying to decide whether I should tell my parents of my 2 hour ordeal at the clinic. Again, 3 options came to me:
a) Don't tell them cause they already have enough stress
b) Just tell them that I went to the clinic but don't mention the "C" word
c) Tell them everything
It was such a tough decision to make and it took me 3 hours to finally make the decision. I put up a brave heart and chose option (c). After telling them everything, I could see from my parents' eyes that their mind were blank for a while.
And that's the time, I could not control my emotions any further, I cried. (Did I mention that I do cry easily?) My parents kept their cool. (They have always been good at that. Perhaps it takes a lot of experience to be able to do that.) My mum suggested me to see my gyne when I come back from work tonight. My dad started googling on the internet, looking for symptoms of cervical cancer. I told my dad that I wasn't sure whether to break the news but he assured me that it is important for me to share as I would need all the support that I can get.
And the interesting day ended on a good note as I thank God for guiding me throughout the day.
I didn't go to the gyne in the evening, I went in the morning because I continue to bleed until this morning. I was assured by my gyne that I'm HEALTHY! Praise the Lord! The bleeding was stress related. The Dr even gave me tips on when I can try conceiving. :P
I was prepared to go back to work but the Dr said that I'm stressed up, so I should take the whole day off. I called my colleague and she too was nice enough to give me the day off.
My dad also has 3 choices to make when his Dr gives him the green light to go for chemotherapy. This decision is not easy to make. My dad will be guided by God in making this decision and he will also have us to support him in whatever option that he is going to choose. I told my mum, "We won't understand how daddy feels because we are not the patient. We can only support him. The best treatment for daddy is something that he is confident & comfortable with."
But of course, my mum sees it differently and thinks that if we don't convince him to undergo chemotherapy, we may regret for the rest of our lives.
I've learnt that when we make a decision, we should never regret. Accept that you have made the choice, you are responsible for it & remember that it was guided by God.
I recently met someone at a friends' house. She told us about her grandfather's passing. Her grandfather died of prostrate cancer and he accepted death willingly. He was even reciting "Alleluia to the Lord" before his last breath. I was very impressed by this man even though I've only met his granddaughter. He made a choice to follow God's way. :)
My dad's next step in this journey will be guided by God and we will be God's servants to help my dad in any decision that he makes.
My dad spotting a new hair cut!
We named it "The Obama Inspired Hair Cut"
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